I wouldn't mind, but ....

.... I've been eating a lot of eggs. I've been told they're healthy and contain good cholesterol. To be honest though, I'm told a lot of things, so it's quite possible I've confused them with satsumas.  But, oh my word, there can be too much of a good thing.  If I feel like this eating them every day, what must the poor chicken feel like laying them everyday?  I'm eating something that poops out of a chicken. I'm battery eating eggs. I suspect it won't be long before I'm locked in my flat with artificially induced daylight (a light bulb) being force fed boiled eggs, fried eggs, poached eggs and scrambled eggs. I wonder if Humpty Dumpty threw himself off that wall as he couldn't look in the mirror any more and see an egg. He couldn't enjoy the funny side - the yolk (boom, boom!).  Eggs are everywhere, in everything - breakfast, lunch, dinner, in boxes of twelve in the supermarket (that's just too many, by the way).  The images on the boxes conjure up images of chickens dancing round the corn fields, keeping in touch with each other on facebook and posting tweets saying they've just laid another one.  And the supermarket shelves are always crowded by over-zealous shoppers checking for cracks. Their little beady eyes and spidery fingers pawing over each individual egg microscopically scanning for the slightest crack.  And if they're not broken to begin with, they certainly are after they've been pawed over by unmanicured nails with a week's worth of cigarette ash eeking out of them.  They're the same people who spend ages inspecting individual onions while I'm trying to reach the broccoli. Then as I reach for the asparagus, they've moved on to individually examining the carrots.  And 10 mins later I'm behind them in the checkout queue and they've got one onion, one carrot and a twelve pack of eggs in their basket. When they get home, they turn on the hob, rustle up a carrot omlette, pickle their onion and get a can of lager out of the fridge.  Actually, come to think of it, that doesn't sound too bad. If you add in a few chips, I'll pop round.