.... I think I saw the beginning of the end in Marks & Spencer today. There I was in their Paddington station branch gathering my pomegranate seeds and blueberries, when I happened upon the decline of civilisation. I was stopped in my tracks, my wire basket buckled and my pomegranate juiced. There, on the top shelf, were glasses of wine (red and white). Plastic glasses of wine with a pull-off lid. At first I thought they were jellies, but I shook one and it moved. Is this the new lunchtime must-have? If so, I'm destined for a life of billy-no-mates at lunchtime as I sit in the corner with my cup of builders' tea, while all the cool workers are peeling back their lids and knocking back the lambrusco.
Still in shock, I headed for home to mind-map my strategy to save mankind. En route, I opened my copy of 'The Times'. And there, in print, was news of the Candwich - a sandwich in a can. A sandwich in a can! They have a shelf-life of 12 months and come in flavours such as 'pepperoni pizza'. At first I thought the end was here sooner than I expected, but then I got to thinking. If the wine-in-a-glass takes off, then I can hide in Epping Forest with a supply of Candwiches. I won't need any electricity and I can resurface smelling of pepperoni pizza when nearly everyone's died of alcoholic poisoning. If anyone's still alive, I could be the new Eve (or call me Domino). Granted, I'm a bit on the old side, but if the survivors are drunk, they won't notice. Everyone's happy. So back off, the Candwiches are mine!
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