I wouldn't mind but ....

.... I've seen the future of advertising.  I was on my way to Pret-a-Manger to get my lunch when a light bulb flashed metaphorically in front of me.  Holding my nerve, I pressed on to secure my soup and lemon cheesecake, before returning to my Eureka moment (minus the bath).

Let me explain.  Pedestrians everywhere are walking along staring down at their mobile phones.  Whilst I'm scanning for hazards, every other lunchtime worker is transfixed by Facebook updates. What message could be so fascinating that you neglect oncoming obstacles? What text makes you reckless in the face of lampposts, stationary tourist groups looking for Liesesster Square, queues at cashpoints (queue alongside the bank not across the middle of the pavement, you morons!), alfresco dining outside cafes (it's England, it rains, get over it and get inside) and the gentleman with his ferret on a lead that I have often had the pleasure to tip hats to en route to work. 

For research purposes I encroached the shoulder of a chap in Pret-a-Manger who was trying to decide which of the 100 counter staff at the five tills all shouting 'Can I help you?' he should submit his crayfish and rocket to.  As he finally leant over the Lovebars and said 'yes, I would like a bag', I seized my opportunity and glanced down at the message on his phone:  "Buy milk".  Was he a stockbroker and was Milk about to crash?  Had I stumbled on a scoop.  I followed him out of the shop and into the newsagents next door.  He grabbed a pint of semi-skimmed milk and went on his way.  I'd been duped.

But had I?  What if advertisers used the pavement space to advertise? If everyone's looking towards the ground, that's where we need to place those important messages.  Pavements sponsored by Cadbury's - chocolate pavements?  I realise there's a major flaw in this proposal i.e. how do we stop bumping into each other?  But, if you think again, why is that such a problem?  Everyone enjoys the Dodgems, so why not ditch the car and get physical? 'Guess who I bumped into today' could keep the conversation going for hours. 

And there you have it.  It's an idea that any contestant on 'The Apprentice' would give their right arm for and all it took was a close encounter over the lovebars at Pret-a-Manger.