.... I'd almost given up hope of catching another episode of 'Jean-Claude Van Damme: Behind Closed Doors'. Imagine my joy when flicking through the TV channels this evening I happened upon it. There it was on ITV4+1. Who even knew there was such a thing? I've immediately put it on my remote control favourites. Sadly, I missed the first 30 minutes, but I joined as JC's wife, Gladys, was restoring his hair with the Belgian equivalent of Grecian 2000, which I think is chocolate. Now 70% cocoa, JC flew off to Bangkok to look at rushes of his latest film. Three years in the making and featuring, I think, an Eagle in the leading role. Apparently he funded the film himself, which I suspect is why birds were employed instead of actors as they don't have bank accounts, preferring peanuts. I can see the sense in this, as if you take advantage of 3 for 2 offers on nuts at Aldi (there must be one in Belgium) then you're in profit before you even reach the checkout. And if you add in the school vouchers, you can fund a pencil for a child at school in the UK. Another shocking revelation about the film was the fact that it had no script. This left me speechless, just like the film.
JC's next stop was Hong Kong - a place close to his heart. I was worried for him at the airport in case there was an allowance on how much chocolate you could bring into the country, as he may have been forced to leave his hair at Customs. Luckily, there was no such problem and we were subsequently treated to a tour of his flat in Hong Kong, including 'the room where I do my poops'. Who doesn't enjoy a snoop in someone else's loo? I know I do.
I was a little disappointed by the end,though, as I had been on the edge of my seat for further news of JC's plans to bring about world peace. He'd been reduced to tears in an earlier episode, telling us his greatest wish was to foster world peace. Sadly, wars have been allowed to flourish pending his further attention.
And before I go, I must just tell you that the chihuahua is safe and fully recovered from it's stint in last week's episode exposed to JC's underpants.
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