I wouldn't mind, but ....

.... I spent a lot of time today appearing inadvertently as background in tourists' photos and it gave me the idea of becoming the most photographed woman in the world.  I don't mean in the 'look at me, I'm gorgeous' type of photoshoot (although I'm assuming there must be someone out there with poor eyesight and a love of low lighting for whom I could be that elusive beauty).  No, I'm thinking more of the enigmatic stranger in the background.  The potential is limitless.  London is abuzz with tourists throughout the year.  Where do most of them hang out? Zones 1-3, of course, and I'm packing an oyster card.

Imagine, for example, a German tourist (Boris) who returns home to Munich and invites his best friend (Claus) round for another evening of beer, cold meats and holiday snaps.  Browsing through the photo album, Claus exclaims, "Boris, that frauline is in my photo of Carnaby Street too".  Boris calls his cousin, Helga, and she comes round with photos from her London city break.  And there I am again. A pearly queen hybrid of the travelling gnome and 'Where's Wally'.   Before you can say "these snaps are inappropriate for people under the age of 18", I've got a record deal and am topping the German charts. It doesn't have to be Germany, it could be anywhere. I'm not Eurovision, I'm universalvision.  Granted, I'll need to put some extra money on my oyster card, but I think it'll be worth it.

Of course, I'll also have to adopt some typical London poses for authenticity.  I've already got some in mind, depending on the location:

1.  Saturday night in Leicester Square, I'll be kebabbed up.
2.  Thursday late night shopping in Oxford Street - in the gutter under Primark bags.
3.  At the British Museum, I'll be looking as bored as a centipede at the chiropodist.
4.  In Trafalgar Square, I'll be climbing the lions and putting my k******s on their head.
5.  On the london Eye, I'll be shouting "There's me 'ouse, just over there".

My campaign begins.